I guess I’ve really been neglecting my blogging duties this summer, which was not my plan just so you know ! I had all these plans to pick it up now that i had some free time, but that idea crashed and burned. I’ve been doing so much lately that it would be ridiculous to start listing them now, that would just bore you, so instead i am leaving a July moodboard (you know, those things i used to do when i was a good blogger.) here with my head bowed in shame.
Lately I’ve been writing a lot in my journal instead of blogging. I’ve been more protective of my thoughts, not wanting to be judged/praised for what i am sharing. But somehow i feel like i owe you few who’s actually reading my blog, an explanation. 2 days into summer vacation, i got the news that what I’ve done in school this year does not qualify me to move up a grade. which have left me sort of defeated. I am silently panicking each night when i go to bed , just thinking about the fact that, at this rate, i am probably not going to amount to much. I should’ve been finished with mandatory school and go on to university this fall, but i am 2, almost 3 years behind everybody else my age.
So yeah, basically, as selfish as it sounds i am not really up for hanging with my friends … i much prefer to stay at home and sulk. way to be mature about things, i know. But things REALLY suck right now and i just need time to get it out of my system, however long that may be…
I haven’t had the best start on the summer, but im dealing with it ,and i dont want to talk about it in fear of burying myself down with bad mojo.
So today i had a Me-day, which i haven’t had in a while.
I woke up ate an awesome breakfast while catching up on some ‘Awkward ‘ episodes and really just had a lazy morning ( im not really sure if you can call it a morning though… more like a lazy noon) Then I put on some lounging clothes to spare the rest of the household of me walking around in my underwear and ratty band t-shirt and then dealt with some not so uplifting paperwork ( yes, paperwork… cause im an adult goddamnit) Then,when it all became to much for me i sat down and whined in my journal. 3 hours later my nose was still stuck inside my journal and appearantly my creative side decided to grace me with it’s presense rather aggresively. All of a sudden i had a burning desire to rearreange my whole room and make pretty things🌼. So i updated my inspiration wall, attempted to hang up some lights, and failed. Then i did some writing on my never-going-to-see-the-light-of-day-book/story, but was swiftly made depressed by that so I finished hemming a skirt instead while watching a movie called very pretty girls (talk about multitasking) And lastly i began the dreaded, final instalment of Cassandra Clare’s bestselling book series the mortal instruments.(dont fuck it up Jace !) And now, now i am going to bed. ZZzzZZZz
NB this all happened yesterday..I forgot to post it in my sleep deprived state of mind.
So here’s whats up.
I’ve been spending the last hour looking at cats near me which are being sold or given away. ”Why would you do that Malin ? you already have 2 cats” You say. Well, wrong. I only got one…
Let me give you the back story behind that.
when i was 12 i was sitting in the livingroom, minding my own buisness,watching Digimon as i always did after school when i heard this tiny squeeking/meowing noise. We had a litter of kittens at the time so i thought maybe the mother had hidden one of her kittens which she often did when we were being loud or my mom was vaccuming. Anyway, i began looking around but didn’t find anything so i went to where the kittens where and i counted all five of them, no one was missing. thinking i’d probably just imagined it i went back to the TV,but then i heard the noise again and i looked under the sofa… there lied a tiny newborn kitten. i quickly got my mom and we got her out from under the sofa. she was too young for her to be one of the litter so we still don’t know today where she came from… Anyway we quickly saw that there was something wrong with her. Her legs was kind of wonky and she was REALLY tiny. My parents said we had to put her down, that it was the humane thing to do, but i would have none of that. I began introducing her to the mother of the litter and she quickly accepted her as one of her own, though she had to have some help feeding her cause the other kittens kept pushing her away since she was so tiny. And that’s how i developed a special bond with her. her legs straightend up a bit,but she stilled walked with what i like to think of as a little ‘swag’. She cried when she heared my voice and came running, she always knew when i was down and then proceed to jumped up on my lap and curl up against me.
But six weeks ago she went missing… needless to say i was heartbroken… I’ve had alot of cats but she was kind of special, i guess that’s bad to admit but its true. I miss her endlessly <3
Hence, me looking for a new cat and yesterday i found one…
I’m picking her up in august
So yesterday was my last day at school, and what did i do to celebrate? I cleaned my apartment from head to toe. Walls, ceiling,everything! Then i moved all my belongings from said apartment and into my tiny BMW in the pouring rain… All in all, not the greatest way to start the summer .. i was so exhausted when i got home and finished moving everything into my house i collapsed on my bed and slept for 3 hours straight, only to be woken up by my brother who needed me to drive him somewhere. -.- After all that the only thing that kept me going through the day was the promise of a nice scorching bubble bath. Now that that is behind me the summer can finally begin !
(How scandalous! )
So i saw The fault in our stars on sunday… Yes i loved it, yes i cried and no, i do not want to talk about it…. it’s only been three days..