Sentimental Journey

i was just crossing the street with my mother after having lunch, when i heard an all to familiar song playing. My phone was ringing, and as i picked it up, praying the battery would hold, i got a phone call from my old school. The one i went to from the ages 6 to 14. the school where all my problems started snowballing into a massive heap of anxiety.
I’ve been job hunting these last few weeks and one of the jobs i applied to was being an assistant teacher from 1st to 7th grade, which, i figured i wouldn’t get but applied to anyway. And lo and behold, they call me, asking me to come in tomorrow and start working. Sort of shocked, but endlessly relived cause i finally got a job, i agreed. And now it’s just hitting me i am going back to the place were i spent some of the worst years of my life. It’s kind of nerve wrecking cause i have no idea how i’m going to react or feel. i thought i wouldn’t be affected by it but there’s no denying the anxiety-butterflies in my stomach. i am crossing every limb possible and hoping for the best, cause it’s outta my hands that’s for sure..
Hopefully this will lull me to sleep:

Something Wicked Is About to Come !

Today i went and got some things for my Halloween costume, i am combining the top of one dress and the bottom of another, which is fairly easy to do i guess. the only thing that seems to be giving me some problems is that  i would like to have a corset.. I have a black one, but considering i’m going as a dead  bride i feel like it needs to be white ! any idea on how to make a black satin corset white ? should i try to use bleach?
On friday i’m going to Katharina’s to have a diy-halloween costume day. But i guess it’ll be more a ”help katharina diy-halloween-costume-day” since mine is basically done. we’re going to try to dye a light pink and white tulle skirt black for her ”red queen” costume. i am taking halloween way to seriously and my friends are taking advantage of that, which i’m thrilled about. Halloween is not a holiday, it’s a lifestyle folks !

Even in Paradise by Chelsey Philpot.

In 5 hours i started- and finished Even in Paradise by Chelsey Philpot. Not because it was the greatest book i’ve read this year, and not because i found it unbeliveably exciting…. Actually im not even sure how it became a onesitting-book to me. I guess because it wasn’t any of the things above ? It wasn’t what i usally go for,yet it had all the elements i like in a book, does that make any sense whatsoever ? No ? Well i cant blame you, I’m REALLY confused myself. And Im so out of it right now i probably shouldn’t even be writing this, it’s five a clock i the morning and i am delirious with feels. Maybe i just need to let it sink in.. maybe i actually loved it. I’ll let you know once i know. Until then.

”When Julia Buchanan enrolls at St. Anne’s at the beginning of junior year, Charlotte Ryder already knows all about the former senator’s daughter. Most people do… or think they do.
Charlotte certainly never expects she’ll be Julia’s friend. But almost immediately, she is drawn into the larger than-life-new girl’s world—a world of midnight rendezvous, dazzling parties, palatial vacation homes, and fizzy champagne cocktails. And then Charlotte meets, and begins falling for, Julia’s handsome older brother, Sebastian.
But behind her self-assured smiles and toasts to the future, Charlotte soon realizes that Julia is still suffering from a tragedy. A tragedy that the Buchanan family has kept hidden… until now.”

Babysitting and melancholy

Currently situated at my sister’s bestfriend’s house watching 21 jump street. This is what my life has come to. Turning down going out with my friends so i can babysit to earn some much needed money. Also,to top it all off, inspiration hit me like a brick just when i dont have my computer with me… i havent written anything good in weeks so my fingers are literally itching !  Just,if it wasnt obvious enough i am not amused. U hear that karma!? Not amused !


WARNING: A weak moment ahead

I wonder if everyone has the same urge as me to leave their mark on the world. I’ve always thought that one day a opportunity will present it self to me where i have the chance to be or do something spectacular. Something that makes a difference. Does that mean i have a God complex ?? The fact that i have a tearing need in me not to be forgotten or overlooked ? Or does it just make me like everyone else ??
These are the questions that seem to rotate in my mind lately, more so now than ever before. I think it’s a product of the fact that i cant seem to let go of the fear that i wont be able to go back to school. That i know deep inside me that i’ve already given up and just going with the flow. Or a better way to describe it would be, you know how sometimes, on a particularly windy day,the waves crash open the shoreline and stuff from deep within the ocean keeps being flushed up to the shore,given a minute of light and a glimpse of a different world, only to be dragged back by the unforgiving waves ? Yeah, that’s how i feel. I just need to find a way to stay on the shore and not be dragged back into the ocean, but that’s a lot easier said than done.large


yesterday me and my sister went to the movies, and in real Halloween fashion, we saw the only horror moving playing right now, which is   ”Annabelle” you know, the movie about the creepy doll ? well, anyhow, the movie was surprisingly good. I was pleasantly surprised as i thought it was just going to be another horror flop, but there were times when i was really creeped out, which is rare for me to get by a movie these days. I also lost count of how many times i jumped out of my seat, which is always a good sign. go watch it guys, it’ll put you right into the Halloween spirit if your you’re not like me and have been in it since 30th september.

halloween mood music

It have always irked me that whenever i am at a Halloween party the music stays the same as it’s always have been. They’re not even trying to bring anything Halloween-y to the table ! Like, you couldn’t atleast try to find a remix of Thriller or something ?? really ? It’s not that hard …

And also a few not so party related songs
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1st of october !

guys it’s October ! It’s without a doubt my favorite month ! Autumn weather has arrived and is going strong which means alot of late nights with old movie classics and burning a shitload of candles. It’s the month of halloween which who knows me, knows i take way too seriously. It’s like a non-stop horror party from the 1st to the 31st . I read scary books, (mainly stephen king) watch scary movies and listen to creepy music and old horror movie soundtracks. I am in my element here guys, come join me!